At middle of night, I woke up.
I knew what time it possibly be because that's what I used to.
I staggered to check up the time using my cell phone, or say a clock.
It's 2 o'clock.
Then I went to clean up a bit.

I opened the door, but the cat wasn't by the door.
He sometimes does.
I still walked to fill his bowl with food, even he didn't ask for.
It's just a routine, which I keep doing from time to time.
I felt nothing.

I went to make some food to eat.
Poured water in pan and put it on the stove.
Minutes later, I realized that I forgot to turn on.

While boiling the water, I gave myself a glass of water, a cold one.
Then, I took the food to living room, where I can watch tv while eating.
What I was eating, that isn't important.
Because I only eat for my stomach.
No taste, no smell, no pleasure, or whatsoever I care about the food.
It's only the animal's natural need.

I have to mute the volume, because there are other people sleeping.
News channels are the ones I don't like watching.
Because some news are very disturbing and I refuse to make myself suffer from them.
After few rounds of scanning all channels, I finished my food.

Feast of Love on a movie channel, I stopped by that one.
I remembered I have seen it few times.
Never watched it all, only pieces, so is this time.

In the scene of Oscar's funeral, when the coffin slowly moving down, at the very moment, I cried.
For no reasons or some, I don't know.

This is not my first time when watching a movie.
But this one is different, I knew it, I just knew it.

Maybe that was another story that I read earlier.
A boy suffered a disease then died tragically like by his intention.
The girl, who suddenly fell in love with him for about a month or so, could not forgive him for leaving her at first.
But she finally understood, remembered him, kept the love in her heart, and moved on.

I cried a few more times when some lines came up.
I started to think, to recall, maybe it's me, then few more as I writing.

What is this all about? I don't really care anymore, but I know I must write it down.
There is one thing for sure, I am looking for more tragedies.
Sadly, that's the only way I want to fell.

And It's 4:59 now,
It's Not My Time
That is a question, badly want the answer.